no point

sıç

A cure for no real sickness

I lose my interest in things or people very fast.I don't know if i should get rid of this behaviour, if it is good or not but it definetly makes life boring,as you don't get fully satisfied. Your interest may last a week utmost,so what do you do to keep yourself interested in something or someone or how do you have a normal life with this kind of manner?

And the worst is,in time,you see you want something badly, then you achieve it and enjoy it for a while then its gone, you're not enjoying it any more,you may have tried to get that "thing" for about a year,you may have suffered to have it but when you get it, its gone.

After being all through this, how can you "hope" to have another thing, after seeing the last thing you wanted soooo badly didn't make you happy..

so you don't hope now and i think if one doesn't have any hope, he better not exist at all.

Because i move like an arctic lizard

the duchess of gagaland

Pixie went blue :P

*Gypsy

*Jack

*Alex

*Pixie

*The duchess of Gagaland

Razor-cheekboned

Blue-eyed,razor-cheekboned,looks and sounds like the velvet-voiced.

with the best of intentions,you tried to give an ocean direction

I want to see IAMX live badly,i don't know if he comes here this year but he SHOULDD,i^ll be at the front row, singing along to every song.

and you are not an accident.

unknown pleasures

i realized that i'm still trying to find the reason why i couldn't go to England.I tend to think it like this; i wanted to go badly, and i tried really hard to go, all those exams etc, but i failed in the last minute,by that time,i faced lots of difficulties and none of them were because of me, so what i'm tryin to say is that there was some kind of a power that kept ruining things for me.If you had to take ten steps to achieve it then i took 9 steps waiting, crying..as for the tenth step, i couldn't do anything about it.I just had to wait and i did, shit came out eventually.

ehemmmm,now i'll stop whining about it and will write about what this Power may be.I think that someone, anyone whom i don't know now, needed me here or wanted me to stay here to feel better and s/he wanted this ,somehow,more than i wanted to go,so his/her needs were/are more urgent than mine so my request was blockedIt is obvious that it was blocked, every student entering Brunel uni wrote a personal statement, sent their transcripts and waited for the offer for about 3 weeks.What i had done was completely different from this.

I meet lots of people now because its a new city, new uni, new way of life and i'm trying to find that person.S/he better have a reasonable need!!

waiting in line

I certainly believe that things or people may change just in a minute;

i was gonna go to England and i'm here.The fact that i had been dealing with this for 5 months didn't have any affect on my decision to go to Ank instead.I wanted it badly, but it had to be this way.I denied it for five months, but i couldn't push it more, cuz i was not the only one that was hurt by all of these.

i thought someone was bad, now i don't

i thought i liked someone, now i don't

i thought i found some people with whom i may be able to have good conversations on various subjects, now i don't think i'm feeling that way because of some certain things.

and most surprisingly, although i still feel shit about not being able to study English Literature, i think studying American Culture and literature will not be that bad.

I remember now writing a blog about "saying never again".I think i've had enough to see things this way.I dont even know how i'm gonna feel about a certain thing or a person next week so it would be a useless idea to try to figure out how they'll feel about me.That means, you shouldnt trust anyone, or get used to something or someone because every single thing changes, even you change but at least you can control yourself, your thougths, in the process of changing.

The reason that keeps you alive shouldn't be related to other things or related to someone else, because it is for sure that they will go, there will be a mistake or you will get bored and when you are alone after that, well, let's not think about it.I'm not pessimistic(i am indeed but its got nothing to do with this subject :P),i'm just trying to be realistic and i'm not saying these after waking up from a nightmare, i say these because this is what i experienced

i see God come in my garden but i don't know what he said, for my heart,it wasn't open.

I slipped away last night
Took me away from sight and the place I know.
All crushed upon my skin
This mess I put you in and the punch i threw.
It was a strange reaction
for someone like you to remain on side
And in a chain reaction
I was down and calling for a place to hide.

I saw a broken arm
Machines will all break down in the way I know.
Mended and all made clean
I saw up on the screen all the stones I throw.

It was a strange reaction
for someone like you to remain so sure
And in a chain reaction
I dissolve and break and then away i crawl.

i don't want to fight.I want to get along with you.

how i learned what "worth" means:in my job, theres no promotion, no "thanks", the boss is horrible, im not learning anything, 9am-9pm, so its not worth it. Thanks Gavin, this is vey catchy, :P .

Useless, you ARE !!

"The herpes virus is known to attack during times of weakness in your immune system and stress can cause this.Stress is definitely a factor for herpes outbreaks. Many people experience the most recurring outbreaks during stressful times and instances when they are ill."

*yes,i am under stress

*yes,i am ill (the flu)

so,yes i have herpes on my lippp

I'm waiting for my visa and im really sick of waiting, really, very muchh.I missed Freshers',it is this week and i missed it.I'm here, home while everyone else is at uni, enjoying this week.I could swallow this easily if it was my fault, but it was not,i did my best.

there were some people who didnt want me to go, and even some stupid people who said, "i hope you cant go", so i believe now that the reason i coudln't go is their negative thoughts.I hate you.

It has been holiday for 3 days, could i ask more?It kept back my visa's arrival.

I hope i get it before the weekend or i may decide not to go.

Two days a go, i went to Çeşme with my mom.We swimmed then went to Alaçatı, which was a great place.I really liked it i was planning to write a looong blog about my travel, about what i saw etc. but now i think theres no need.

Merlinized*

yes,i've been down, ive been down, ive been feeling down.

I miss someone i dont know and want something i'll never be able to have.I'll say it again ,i hope i feel this way, because i'm still a teenager and i hope it passes in two years.

Ive been away from home, in Ank, got back today.We had a good time with Nil and Army.I did lots of things about uni, registered for visa, went Hacettepe to ask if i can have a gap year for Brunel-oh yes btw i got into Brunel ;)-and my cousins helped me with these :)

If it all goes according to my plan, i'll get my visa before the weekend and will go on Sunday which means i'll catch Freshers.

I found some people doing my course at Brunel.I added a Turkish guy, he confirmed the request then removed-rude-i was not gonna eat you, no worries, i never do :P

Then i added some other guy, he doesnt talk, i dont know why.What a great start,huh?I dont mind though.

And i've decided to write a book on how to keep boys away from you.

Does anybody know where the toilets are?

i saw a boy today and i wanted to put a leather jacket on him, because his shoulders looked perfect.

After coming home from Ekin's at 9 am, i went straight to bed and slept till 4 pm :S.I checked Ucas to see what Zahit had done and got really mad when i saw that he didn't make the choices for Clearing.I called him and he said he's waiting for unis to release my application on Ucas so its not his fault.Upon learning this, i e-mailed to two unis four times.He did this too but we want to be sure that they receive the e-mails we sent, or else they may say "no we haven't receieved it, so you are withdrawn(Brunel)".

So here, me, waiting again for other people to fulfill their responsibilities.

I am going to Ankara with Cettin, which is great, cuz i wont get bored on the road and we're gonna watch films together etc.

How can you feel a colour in your head?

I got into a uni in Turkey and i almost forgot all about it with the fear of not being able to go to England.I'm going to Ankara this Monday to check in at Hacettepe :S as it is Friday today it is my last day to collect the documents the uni wants me to bring such as statement of account etc

.Everyone asks about England and its irritating to answer them all.Wish i had never told anyone,but i was(still am) so excited about it that i couldn't do but telling everyone.

Now i try to get into through Clearing.I hope that works, bcuz i am sick of all this waiting.Ive been have to wait for e-mails, phone calls.Ive never asked someone to do something for me this much before this and its annoying to wait for them to do it,cuz they do it whenever they like.Its up to them.Is it 3 days to decide which uni?ohh waitt he can't do it now cuz he doesnt want to, he wants you to call him and beg for help and i cant/couldn't do it,so now i'm alone on my way and this may end up not going there.I dont even want to think about what'll happen if i cant get into through Clearing.I will have to study at Hacettepe, which is in Ankara, which totally sucks and i'll be in deep deep depression for four years.Mom will come after me,so its not possible to change my uni once i got in

.Everyone says you can go abroad by Erasmus.Who wants to go to study in Italy, Spain or France?, i donttt,i just want to go to England not to any other countries, and unis here usually send their students to these countries, not England.

everyone thinks they should comment on my going, everyone has something to say about it.You dont know me, you dont know how i want it, what ive been doing for months to achieve it, how i was stressfull before Toefl because i had to get ready for three other big exams at the same time, but you still think you've got something to say, your relative's or friend's stories.They went and couldnt find what they had been looking for and finally came back so the money was wasted, loadsa stories.Noone has something good to say, except for those who know me,they just say go ahead.thank you.

Don't want to hear about it

Every single one's got a story to tell
Everyone knows about it
From the Queen of England to the hounds of hell

hahahah

When i went to the bank today, mom's friend got my things done and while she was doing it,she told me that her daughter started to take Guitar lessons in the place where i took Drum lessons one and a half years a go.She told me while she was there she saw my teacher and they talked about me,(he told her good things aboutme,how sweett xXXx)i was surprised.I wanted to go and visit him many times,well whenever i pass by but i didn't because i thought he wouldn't remember me (i took lessons for three months),so after learning this, i thought about going but i didnt again :S i dont know why, but it'd be great to see him,anyway

and i think about someone very often and i hate myself for doing it.Theres no need

cheese is a kind of meat

I made a blunder today.hope nobody was offended.ıts not like i meant it.Sometimes i think i just shouldn't speak.I met Ceren today.Shes been my friend for 4 years i guess and its the second time i saw her.I guess we first met on Myspace,i dont remember now.Shes a good friend and brought two lovely friends with her, we talked about MÖ.SS, gays, cities, unis and films.I really had fun,to be honest,i always love meeting new people.I love to be in curiosity about their interests and i want them t

o give me new ideas, introduce me to the new ways of things.

I want to doll up boys.I want them to wear what i like and its been too much latelyI wish i could draw something, then i could explain my ideas better, its irritating to describe what i like.Simply drawing it would be much better but tight jeans and leather or shiny jackets are almost essential,oh and cowboy boots.I just decided noww that i want to put photos of those guys having a good taste in fashion up on here,yes i'll do it.

OOOkayy,i want to st

art with this guy.I found him on a street fashion website.This is one of my favorites and its how i'm gonna doll up my future husband on our wedding ajhhahaha :P yess he'll look exacty like this.

Starting from the top, he is wearing a black hat which has white bits on it and wearing a hat is almost always good,cu

z it looks posh and if your head has a stupid shape you can cover it with a hat.I love love his jacket, the dore thing and the black bits on

the jacket looks perfect to me.I told you tight jeans are essential.I love his shoes as well i would buy and wear them were i to ever find.I'm sure this guy is not alien or smth then i keep asking why why why i cant see anyone around like this guy.

Uh Oh Uh Oh :P

i realized that
what would that mama do uh oh uh oh Pixie Lott and Leave Britney alone Chris Croker looks almost identical :P:P

I like Chris moree btw :)

My Life According To Iamx

Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions. Pass it on to some people including me. You can't use the band I used. Try not to repeat song titles. It's a lot harder than you think! Repost as "My Life According to (BAND NAME)"

Are you male or female: s.h.e

Describe yourself: president

How do you feel: I am terrified

Describe where you currently live: Kingdom Of Welcome Addiction

If you could go anywhere, where would you go: Think Of "England" :D

Your favorite form of transportation: Running

Your best friend is: My Secret Friend

Your favorite colour is: White Suburb Impressionism (baya kastım burda :D )

Whats the weather like: Heatwave

Favorite time of day: Nightlife

If your life was a T.V show, what would it be called: Your Joy Is My Low

Your current relationship: This will make you love again

Breaking up: The Great Shipwreck Of Life

Looking for: The Alternative

Wouldn't mind: The Stupid,The Proud :P

Your fear: Missile

What is the best advice you could give: You Can Be Happy

If you could change your name, what would you change it to: Simple Girl

Thought for the day: I Like Pretending

How would you like to die: After Every Party I Die

My Motto: Kiss and Swallow

I posted this on facebok as well,nobody cared,its not like someone will care it here but i wanted to post again anway :P

RAYGUN

Whoooo!

I guess I think about think about doin a line.

But the last time i promised myself

it would be the last time,

Remember that time when i was green
the deepest colour or you bleeds
I felt that colour in my head.
Ooh right before she said

Chorus
Just because you can,
It doesn’t mean you should.
Oh just because you can,
It doesn’t make it good.

Oh you been down, you been down, you been down,
you been feelin down..
Every time you bleed you always come around.
Remember that time you looked so good,
We knew that we could do and we knew we should,
I felt that coulor in my head
Oooh right before you said

Just because you can
it doesn’t mean you should
Just because you can
it doesn’t make it good
Just because you can
it doesn’t mean you should
Just because you can

I felt that colour in my head (4x)
Oooh right before she said

I keep listening to this song,it has a nice video clip too,but why in L.A,i dont understand that.

When i see a new band i always make a guess if they're from England or not,i was wrong just once,about Incubus,but i dont understand now what made me think that they were from England,anyway.I first saw the video clip on MTV and i was like its like they are from England or smth but the place doesnt seem to be somewhere in England :P:P then i googled it anddd got that i was not wrong at all!!!

Not:ayrıca grubun vocali adı Toby gibi bişi olucak leopar desenli tayt giyiyor ve bazen oldukça sevimsiz,evlenebilirim :D

break me with a tender touch

I want to make a list of the books i feel i have to read.It is a shame that, although i love Oscar Wilde, i still haven't read The Picture Of Dorian Gray.I know,it's

embarrassing :S and they made a film of this book.I think its gonna hit theatres this autumn and that means i have to read it before the film is out :O The guy playing Dorian Gray is Ben Barnes.He played Prince Caspian before in The Chronicles Of Narnia:Prince Caspian.He is or was a member of National Youth Music Theatre.I really need to go this place, just to see.Nearly most of the hot Brit guys (actors) come from NYMT, Orlando Bloom, Jamie Campbell Bower, Jude Law and now Ben Barnes :D

I started reading American Psycho again and this time i'm determined to finish it,already passed 5 chapters ;) there are loads of brand names in it, most of which i haven't heard OF before.I am not that into America/N

ANNNNNNNDDDDDDDDD

*chris corner should get rid of his facial hair :S

*I like "heavy cross" by Gossip but i don't like the girl.Who wants to see her naked ? :S

*I discovered a new band "Raygun".their song "just because" seems nice and the guy on vocals looks a lot like someone you dont know :D

öhiiii

OOOoooooooooooh! is this a waistcote? not a random one, it is minee!!ı knew that was gonna happen :S it'd look fine with your costume Chris :)

shitification

i don't like her

i don't like him

i almost hate myself

I hope this is just a teenage thing

i hope it passes

And this is to you my old friend,

you seem happy in your little world.You don't ask fr more and are satisfied

You don't care to be Anyone

and some stupid luxury makes you happy

but we were the same

.We liked the same things, the same songs even the same guys

but now you gave up.You say OK to be a camel

one more thing, why do i have to look perfect when i'm with you.It did hurt.ı bet you didn't even realized, it did though :S

Did you say "never"???

I am never gonna say "never" againn (!) I realized that lately i have done loads of things that i described as "would never been done by me".

-I would say ı hate barbeque sauce,i really did.ı couldn't even resist the smell of it.Now its my second favorite sauce in Burger King after Ranch.

-I kept making jokes about people who wear waistcote, said they looked like Serdar Ortaç etc. But then i started to like this as well, cuz it looked much better

on Brian Molko, and on some other guys/girls wearing it.So i guess when these waistcoat's association with Serdar Ortaç in my mind completely got deleted, ı

started to like them.Now i am afraid one day i'm gonna get one for myself and wear it :D

-I used to say,i would never get blonde and now i'm thinking about dying my hair to this colour.But still not the way i joked on before.ı mean

ı dont want a colour like Seda Sayan's or etc. ı want it to look as natural as possible,maybe like Nil's. But this is still risky.I dont want to ruin my hair

cuz it's red :S but it looks like your aunt's hair now

-Ohh, ı dont know how to mention about this one.I ve kept sayin that i would never everr study American Culture at Uni and i really meant it.I made it quite clear that it was impossible

Being an anglophile, this would be the last thing that i'd do but things have changed and now my second and third chocies for uni are American

CUlture, but wait! its not because i adore America or America's culture now.Its bcuz i can only study at my favourite unis by choosin this.And my advisor said as America's culture wouldn'r

cover four years, half of the lessons would be about Shakespear and other British authors.And moreover you dont hate Shakespear when you gradute from this, bcuz

its more superficial here.And maybe i am more flexible as choosin what my so-called course is gonna be about in Turkey, because i probably am not gonna be studying here

This september, hopefuly i'm gonna take a gap year and go to study Media and Communication in England, which i'm pretty excited about.

This is England

bu filmi 2-3 ay önce ilk izlediimde hazırladığım bi blogdu ama nedense postlamamştm şmd yine izlemeye karar verdm ve böyle bişe yazdığımı hatrladım, işte burda :

this is england'ı şimdi bitirdim ve ekşi'de yazar olsam koşup "durduk yerde adamın a.q filmler" e eklerdim bunu.Filmin işlediği faşistlik konusunu, nasıl işlediğini bırak bi kere benim gibi kücük şımarık olmayan erkek cocuğu seven bi tipi normal birini etkiliceinden 100 kat daha etkiledi.Evet ne var? o sevimsiz, şişko, kazma dişli küçük çocuktan bahsediorum, çocuk işte

Green Sreet Hooligans'ı izledikten sonra da böyle olmuştum.İngiliz filmlerinde genelde bi gerçekçilik var, filmi izlerken kandırılıyomuşsunuz gibi hissetmiyosunuz, herşey açık ve samimi şekilde olup bitiyo.kKndini çetenin üyesi, çocuğun bilmem nesi flan gibi hissetme durumları da işte böyle filmlerde oluyo, en azından bana göre

Filmi izlerken beni düşündüren başka şey de, keşke bilgisayar v.s olmasaydı ve herkes gruplar halinde toplanıp yine o şekilde istediği herşeyden bahsedebilseydi, onların arasındaki dostluğu, Lol ve Woody'i falan kıskanmadım desem yalan olur.Ben burda yakın kız arkadaşları görüyorum mesela etrafta ama cok yakın erkek ark pek görmüyorum yani herkes sadece takılıyo işte.Bunlar sanki biribrlerini daha cok seviyolar.This is england'da da, skins'de de bu böyle.Sid'in Tony'e ne kdr kıl olsa da geri dönmesi, Cook'un Freddie ile kavgalıyken fuck, i love you maan diip gidip dudağına yapışması....

Lazyyyy me

hii
ive been busy lately and i couldnt write anything.
I took MÖ.ss by the way.It was not that good :/ i dont know if my score will be enough for İzmir or İstanbul but i hope it would :/
but nothing is clear now, cuz im gonna take YDS on Sunday as well
School and the course ended but i still have more to do, like studying for Ielts and Toefl.I havent started yet.Guess this Öss got lots from me, ive been even lazier :S
and i put on weight as well cuz when home, all i did was to eat!! and thanks to mom, it wasn't so hard for me to keep myself away from foods
As soon as i am finished with this YDS, i'll be on a diet
anddd someone is coming really close to where i live but its not where i live and i hate this.Couldn't you make it to up to north???
I went to Bornova today with my cousin.She bought a dress for her Prom.I liked almost everything i saw but i'm penniless these days so i'm gonna buy them later-not all of them-
Usually when i go shopping i cant find anything to buy, now i found lots of things but i couldnt buy :S shit happens
and i decided to make a list of the films i wanna see, then i'll download them and watch with my friends after mom goes to Ank ;)
what a nice plan for summer holiday right ?

I loved loving

its weird,how i call you my friend,.....but you always listened to me ,asked how i was,always tried to make me feel better when i felt the opposite,when i told you that i felt guilty about something you did your best to convince me that i did nothing wrong by pointing out some facts.Others did some of these as well maybe,but i didn't feel their sincerity,one says i hope all goes well but he just says it,because everyone in that situation would say that,but when you say hope all goes well,i feel you mean it,you really want it to go well for me

now you're telling me something about you,something which is unusual but good as well
and i feel so excited about it, i can't help smiling while thinking of it its really weird for someone who doesnt give a fuck about anyone i, am not very much familliar with feelings like this,and now it sounds weird to me,that i care this much about someone

i want you to be happy very much and never want you to get hurt by anyone,if there's anything i can do,just ask me and i'll be there
and i learned that theres another way to be happy,you can be happy for someone else,their happiness or excitement can be yours.the hardest part is to find someone like this

thanks my good boy :)

for those who don't know me

If you annoy me on purpose ,it's reason must be due to your hatred for me,i mean it better be ,

Dont think i'll be jealous of you or i'll try to gain you back

I simply will take you out of my life, and in this case if theres love in you for me even a little bit, you'll regret what you've done to me more than you think you'd.

What what in the bu** :P

I went to the course today,but didn't attend classes just studied in the library.I had an English class at 2 pm so i had to wait,as waiting i learned that there was an organization for students,i thougth i could spend my time there by 2 pm,got my toast and went to watch the bands they were getting ready then,checking sounds etc.I was alone,none of my friends were there,some of them came and checked what was going on and then they probably didn't like it and left but i didn't mind being alone,had a chance to crticize all the bands(and the English class called off so i had a chance to watch them all)
the first band was a rap band,they SUCKED,i couldn't help laughing when the guy said "çek çek Karacan and Yeah,Yay etc :D you dont care the lesson that rap gives you:P ,when the rapper seems so stupid,i mean they always act like they know all,they rebel against everything etc. but who are you to?they should have decided who was gonna talk to the audience or should have respect each other as talking,they kept interrupting each other,which made me laugh again.
The second band had two bonus guys,its a shame that Gizem was not there and the vocal was female and though her voice was ok,it seemed like the stage was not her place,she seemed like a loser there, she looked like a housewife or what she wore made her look like that. They played 5 songs i guess,her voice was good,she sang from Sertab Erener,Candan Erçetin etc. that was quite boring
and they made a huge mistake by playing or trying to play Don't Speak from No Doubt cuz her accent was disgusting,when she said,wat yor tinking i was like "dont"....cant you see you cant do it,try to make it better or simply dont do it
aandd the last band saved the day, they just played drums,tomtom etc and i really liked it,everyone did,the guy i dont remember his name now kept talking to the audience,called people to stage to dance etc. and little girls liked that :) little girls also liked the guys that were playing,while some of them were screaming "Cankan",one of them came to the stage,saying i want to meet Derya,He came,blushing a little bit- and she said"i think you look like Edward",Edward my lovely Edward belongs to 12-year-old girls now i guess,i dont like it,he was special anyway
After the show,i caught one of the members of the band and asked what the name of the band was,he replied:Working Magic Hands,i checked it now on google but they have no pages or facebook,i guess i'll add one of them to my facebook so that i will know when they play somewhere in İzmir again,anything different is always fine ;)

Caps and Robes

hellö
mom is mad at me though she doesnt say anything,because it was me yesterday who said"i'll be on the course all day tomorrow" and now i'm here,writing when i am supposed to be at the course,studying geography with the teacher whom i asked 3-4 days a go if i could show my wrong answers to her.I couldn't go cuz i couldnt wake up and am really tiredd and am so eager to write about yesterday (graduation ceremony) while the iron is still hot
we(Casot,Müge,Merve,Ezgisu) decided to meet at two pm to go to hairdresser's,it is near merve's home,i was not sure about how i want my hair to look,guessed there ,they'd help me choose or they'd recommend me smth,but they were all dumb they couldn't even do what i wanted let alone recomending something,i didn't like my hair i looked like a villager bride,and when bad make-up added to my face,i thought about Not going there,my friend's sis did our make-ups she was good at it,but it just didnt go with my face,i tried to wipe the pink blusher anyway then when we at last were ready we took a taxi to school,i found my mom sitting on the first line,(here,my friend called i went to course,gonna keep writing now ),as were were the 7th class we had to wait a lot,but i didn't get bored cuz we kept taking photos and talking,and watching what other students did when they were called to the stage.Our class' song was from Hadise, i didn't like it :S 4th class's was Queen,I bet noone even knew Queen there,it wouldnt be a problem for them if they played Hadise when they were called,anyway.The most enjoyable part was wearing robes and caps,gonna add a pic of me here :)Müge and Merve intoduced our class,they called everyone,saying some good things about them,i dont remember mine now exactly,but im gonna write here later after i watch the video again.
i was called and went there and got my diploma,kissing my teacher.When the whole class (11 ppl) got called,we throw our caps in the air and then more picss taken,and we were done.
Then we all (about 8 ppl) went to Merve's to change for Angel,her mom prepared us smthing quickly and we ate them.When we were on the bus-stop waiting for 85,it was already 9:30 pm.When we reached there,i was dissapointed cuz my so-called gay guy was not there :(.I got boooorrredd,everyone was flirting with eachother,nobody was dancing,dj sucked i asked him"could you NOT play turkish music plz" and he said OK but after 4-5 songs ,he played it again i didn't drink much but got a little bit drunk again,mom saw me for the first time like that :F
wish gizem,casot(left after graduation),ekin,mükü.... had come too,
and ı had a dream last night,i was on the plane to London,and the plane kept stopping to get people,and they were all wearing robes and caps,graduated from their unis or high schools but i was not wearing,i searched for it and here:,
Airplane1. Escape from the mundane exigencies of the lower world.
2. Freedom.
3. The search for higher consciousness. Travel into the higher realms.

this would possibly mean i travel to somewhere and that somewhere was clear as i said before:England but i wonder why i was not wearing a cab and a robe,does this mean,yes i'm going to England but not as a studenttt :(:(:(:(:( hope its not that pfff

Hello

hello
lots happened since my b-day
1)An old friend of mine,Damla came from Samsun to visit her relatives and she met me as well,we went out and then came to my house,i couldn't be a good host as i was in deep thoughts about something else and couldn't help frowning and was sleepy,but she seemed alright with that, i guess she loves me,thats why being with me was enough for her,thanks :)
2)I ate mussel for the first time (yes,ive been living in İzmir since 2005 and just tasted it,but i'm not so positive towards experiencing new tastes as-when in London my lovely Japanese friends took me to a chinese restarurant and i remember we ordered chicken with teriyaki(?) sauce,(CTY) and some kind of soup and sushi,at first i was so eager to taste new foods but my eagerness was cut by CTS,(the sauce was sweet and chicken with sweet sauce was not good ) but i was still hopeful about sushi -somehow- and took one, before i couldnt chew it completely,i thougth i should take it to out to a napkin or i was gonna throw it all up,and i took it out,apologizing.But in mussel case,all was different,i really liked it yummy
3)met a guy while looking for a gift for Buse but i've got nothing to say about a ŞOPAR here(just wanted to mention)
4)Ive been sooooo over Geography these days that i hate it even more now
5))I learned/saw that that guy is not gay,guess my friends got him wrong,i feel bad now for thinking they may have lied to me but needed to think about all possibilities
6)Gizem came back from İstanbul,meeting a Bonus there
7)Casot couldnt put up with kittens and gave them someone else and she hates cats now :D

i guess that's all
and i have my school's cap ceremony on wednesday but i haven't decided yet whether to go or not,mom says i should and if i decide to go there,it'll be just because of that cap,i want to wear it,and want to take lots of pics with that on my head :D ahh and not just cap but we'll have gowns as well,i hope they dont smell pee,they may :D

Noel's hunger

i found this in my school's music class,the moment i saw this i was like "Noel Fielding was here" he came,bit the record and left

this is his bite

he was just not that hungry this time but it was Noel

2-3 months a go me and Casot bought postcards to send Noel,we thought he'd like it,we thought maybe he would give a place to these in Nabootique :)

I may add some silver on the envelope as he loves shiny shiny things :)

Louis vi-French Duke --was not a duke though :P

i want to be drunk or want to sleep all the time so that i wouldn't have to think about things that annoy me and i wouldnt feel guilty
you are happy if you dont expect much,its ok when you get it and if you dont,its still ok,but when you put strict restrictions to yourself like i do,then you feel like shit even in the process of getting it,i dont want to talk about what happens when you dont get it.
ahhhhhh im being boring againnn,sorry
ok gonna show you something funny now



this is Louis vi of France,i wanted to know more about him after watching a movie about him,it was all French,though i didnt get a word of it, i kept watching as it was so interesting and funny to see what they wore here is a couple of pics of Louis Vi,he looks sooooo funny,i wonder why he had to show his legs,it doesnt look sexy etc. it looks just funny :D how many times a day would he go to the toilet,i feel bad for him or for his servants :D

Happy Birtday To Me

JUNKIE QUEEN:casot made this,this is how i looked n that night hahahha D:

happy birthday to me
16th may was my birthday,and now im 18 :) Although,at first i didn't want to celebrate it for some stupid (!) reasons now i can easily say that im glad i did it,and im so eager to write about that night here :)
On Thursday me and Müge went to find a appropriate bar/club to celebrate my b-day,I was hopeless to find somewhere i like, though.We came acroos a bar that Merve talked about it the other day,saying her friend's friend was its owner and i should go and see there,we got in and i liked the place,it is not that big,i liked it being so and drinks rnot expensive so i thought yeah its the best i can find :D the manager (i guess) told me that there would be a DJ,i was ok with this as i wanted to dance silly but i quickly asked him if they were playing those Turkish songs (like Serdar Ortaç etc ıggghh) he said no no no,we dont,i said ok,and went to order a B-day cake,as there was not a brochure about what they can make and as i decided to do these in the last minute i simply ordered a cake for 15ppl and told them to write 18th on it all in pink hahah after arranging this,i went back to meet my friends and had hubble-bubble with mint,i wanted to get back home early as i had planned to dye my hair (to red) that night,mom did it,she did it well this time, the last time she dyed my hair (to black) she was angry with me about smth i dont remember now and after she had dyed it,i could see some shining red bits on my head hahaha that's the new hair,i just took it for you :P <------(nobody follows my blog though haghhf) the next day i woke up early to get ready for school,though im finished with there now,i still have to go there at times to give mom's petition which indicates that she does know that i dont go to school any more to get ready for MÖ.SS and YDS,anyway i gave it to a bitch called C*N* :D and got my transcript and reference letters AT LASTTT,after waiting for 2 hours for school manager to come and sign my transcript etc,i was all done with school,then met my mom to go to the hairdresser's (i could have killed the man,as when i got back to home,my hair didnt look so different from the way it had been before i went to the hairdresser's and i had to straighten it :@) and i bought these high-heeled shoes......

home again to get ready and i waited for two of my friends to come to my home as i didnt want to go to Angel alone,they came (late) and we took our way to there,when we reached Angel,there was live music,some guys were playing shitty shitty songs and i prayed that it would end before my friends came and it luckily ended :clap
i recognized a guy working there,and i liked him and kept talking to him hahaha the more i got drunk the cuter he seemed (esp when he laughed) and all of my friends were aware of this of course,laughing even when i asked him to bring the cake :D the music was shit,i must say,began with good songs then i can even remember hearing Serdar falan :D,but i get that you dont mind that much about it when youre errr drunk,anyway we soon realized that it was a gay bar hahhaha, i didnt mind having them around but some of my friends did and as we didnt want to miss the last boat to KSK we had to leave,of course i didnt want to leave(had plans in my mind) then mete told me that if i liked he could told him to come with us, he did this to persuade me to go out :D i said OK and i dont remember much after that we came home,Gizem put me to her bed,and the only thing that i remember before closing my eyes is guy's playing a game on computer.
the next day,i got up 6 in the morning i guess,everyone was sleeping,so i tried to sleep more and thought about the previous night,all seemed so blurry at first but then i started to remember things in order,scenes flashing up in my head,me hating the music,me throwing up,me opening my presents and liking them and me talking to the guy...
though it was still early,i was dying to know more about what happened the previous night and i went to the room where gizem and ekin slept and they told me that mete talked to him,said him that one of his friends liked him and the guy asked is it a girl?and when mete said YES he said that he was GAY,i was like "whattttt"

i wanted to hear all these again from metes mouth and we went to wake guys up,and talked about this,all said"dont be stupid etc". i said fine but yesterday's main topic was HIM,him being gay,him being rabbit face etc.
now ı plan to go there again as i dont think he is gay :S we'll see whatll happen next time i go there,probably this Tuesday. pff
I REGRET REGRET not taking any photos that night, i feel so bad about it,me or my friends could have taken some photos but we didnt,i was after smth else,and it seems like they were so as well
Note:Casot has three lovely kittens (watched a video of them,they looked very small ) she named them Vince(Noir),Shinigami and Minerva i guess,,i say i guess cuz she changed their name a lot,for example Shinigami's name was Gökçe once hahaha

Mortified,really !

today was supposed to be the last day of my high school life,but it couldn't be,because of my irresponsible behaviours,i had an exam today (logic :S) and i didnt do anything about it yesterday as i thought i would write what i need on my desk,theres no point in knowing all those unuseful things not epecially now when i have lots in my mind,anyway,she came (during the exam) and saw what we wrote on desks and the exam was over,i asked her if she could do an oral examination the next day and she said:we'll see,this may mean yes,so now i studied and am ready for tomorrow,i didnt study it yesterday just not to waste my time (i thought studying maths or geography would be much useful) and as it'll be much harder,i spent more time studying on it today,thats ironic,isn't it?
and not a nice thing to do when you request reference letters from your teachers (i didn't want her to write,though, as she doesnt know me,why?-because she doesnt attend classes much,even today,on examination day,she was late for 10 mins :S )
so now i have to go to school (!) one more day and i wont be able to dye my hair tonight,gonna do it tomorrow :S hope all goes well tomo :S
Note:I got vaccinated again today,(Hepatit B-didnt hurt,i actually liked it)

Twitter Day

HellÖÖÖ
nothing much happened today,really.but i want to talk about my stupid dream last night
i was in a Placebo concert i dont know if it was in Turkey or not but as i left the concert and came home to pee :D guees it was here hahahah İ was there with Casot and i saw there were lots of shiny gloves on the stage when i saw them i jumped on the stage (there were no security guards :S ) and i started to throw it to the crowd,well one to the crowd one to my pocket hahaha and then as i said before i went back to home to pee :D and before i could reach Placebo again i woke up to another silly day and even before breakfast i did some tests but i couldn't finish it as i got really bored,and it may sound stupid now but while i was dressing i couldn't find my fav trousers though i looked for it everywhere and i started to cry but it was not for the trousers,it was like i just found a proper (!) reason to get angry,i guess i did it because i am under a lot of stress these days,because ÖSS and YDS getting closer and weather gets hotter day by day and i never seem to get what i want and my birthday s getting closer as well but i dont feel like doing anything on that day for some reasons and i still havent registered for Ielts or Toefl :@ and lots more and mom's idea for cheering me up was to make a new style to my hair which made me look like a freak anyway i picked another trouser and went to the course,reluctantly.I didn't attend the last class again its been like a habit now,it was philosophy and we decided to go to Konak Pier to get Bkool,i didn't get,though.And as tomorrow is Mother's day i thought i should buy something for my mom,there was nothing in Pier that i thought my mom would like but i bought a necklace for her, its a imitation of "heart of the ocean" youll remember it from Titanic,they were looking for it and there were %50 discount on it so i got it and came home,found mom doing Yoga again and that's all
ohhh and i was about to forget :P i got a Twitter account today,texted to check and it worked,this made me happy hahhaha :D

One more boring day !

i woke up even earlier today (5:45 am) to write the samples of reference letter down to give my teachers at school,yes i brought them samples,and yess they call themselves teacher,even one of them call herself Turkish/Literature teacher,which means -i think- that she should know all types of writing,cosindering now that it has been her who taught (!) us to write things like essay etc.And when i asked her if she could do that for me,she simply said:I dont know how to write it,i've never done it,bring samples to me.".We didn't came to this so easy but i'm not feeling like telling the other story.
She may be stupid enough not to get what a reference letter must contain by herself, but she could at least have said "OK" and could have "simply" googled it,it's not really hard to do it,i wouldnt put myself -if i was her- into that situation,i wrote them all and went to school,gave her the samples she said:I dont want them now,bring them later with your transcript,i could have KILLED her,i swear but i shut my mouth and said OK.
And i had two exams today,one from Literature and another from English,both were okay,i may have fucked up in Literature a little bit,though.In English exam,i gave lots of copies because i learned that other students' scores will affect mine,in a bad way of course because their's is not that pleasant,so i decided that i should help them in the exam and gave out copies,and most of them got high marks, here is an example of one of the guys' scores in the last four English exams 13-26-88-93 there is a contradiction,huh?....I knew they were all stupid and stuff i never thought good about them or i didn't expect much things coming from them but wouldn't you go and thank that girl who took your own responsibility even if it is for her own sake or not?Anyway i left school then to go to an Internet Cafe to finish this Toefl Registration thing,then i realized that i forgot to take mom's credit card with me and that i had to go back to home at first to get it then i tried to calm down myself, saying that " maybe its been better,i dont want to be around with stupid school uniform "(yeah that's not good,everybody wears same things,they try to put everyone in the same category,concealing our creativity from notice when we are living the bravest times in our lives-i'm gonna burn my skirt,honestly,i'll upload the video here you'll see)Then i was home,got dressed and went to Int. Cafe,chose a secluded computer,after giving a fake smile to that woman working there,and completed the whole electronic form AGAIN for the fifth time,i didn't even need to read what it asked me,i did all by heart,then i clicked on the LAST continue button and BLINKKKK "your credit card information is not correct" (i dont remember exactly what it was but it was something like this,anyway)then i tried not to panic and told myself that maybe i shouldn't have done it all by heart hahaha and decided to give it one more go,but it failed again,i called mom 7 times before she finally noticed it (she says it was in the silent mode then) then i started to yelling at her about why she hadnt checked her phone more often if there was a missed call,even though i told her before that i may need to call her if it goes wrong,i was so angry then that i couldn't remember for 3-4 seconds why i wanted to reach her that much,and when i remembered what it was and asked her,she said she didn't know why it didn't work and said she'd sort it out on Monday, and its friday now,do you know why i'm being so impatient about this toefl thing,because if quota gets full,i wont have a chance to take that exam,which is really bad because it's result will bring me to England next year,i despairingly said OK and went back home to sleep, but then i thought there is not much time to ÖSS now and sleeping in this limited time is not the best idea, and i was on my desk,trying to convince myself that i was actually begining to have fun studying Geography
Nothing interesting or important happened after that (as if happened before ) now i am going to sleep with the hope of having a great dream about hmmmm, nopes,that is to be kept in my mind ha ha :D

Baby Care

HELLO!I LOVE YOU.

for those who have read both Twilight Saga nd Harry Potter series

Comparison
choose your favorite characters,they have something in common,decide which one is better at their similarities
Twilight Saga Harry Potter Series

1)Carlisle Cullen OR Albus W.B. Dumbledore -for their fathering,they know all :P
2)Alice Cullen OR Nymphadora Tonks -for being the cracked ones
3)Bella Cullen OR Hermione Granger -for being annoying at times
4)Edward Cullen OR Cedric Diggorry -for both being handsome,cool etc
5)Aro OR Cornelius Fudge -for being presidents
6)James OR Lord Voldemort -both want to kill the main charc
7)Renesmee Cullen OR Albus Severus Potter -for being the children of the main ch.
8)Victoria OR Bellatrix Lestrange -they want to take revenges
9)Irina OR Peter Pettigrew -both betrayed their friends
10)Seth OR Colin Cravey(!) -for being simple-minded guys :S
11)Alec OR Draco Malfoy -for being the children of the bad sides
12)Esme Cullen OR Molly Weasley -for their mothering
13)Jacob Black OR Ronald Weasley -for easily becoming angry
14)Cullen's Home OR The Burrow -------------
15)Immortality OR Magical powers --------


Gökçe's
1)Abus Dumbledore (sorry Carlisle,you can be best friends,or a couple,mmm)
2)Nymphadora Tonks(punkie)
3)Hermione Granger
4)Edward Cullen (üüüüüüüü)
5)Aro(Coward Vampire hahha )...
6)Lord Voldemort,of course
7)Albus Severus Potter,i may have selected Renesmee for her gift but her name is just SO bad that i cant even bear hearing it
8)Bellatrix Lestrange(insane)
9)Irina (you deserved it)
10)Seth
11)Draco Malfoy
12)Molly Weasley (sorry Esme,that name thing again :P )
13)BOTH(jacob slightly more maybe )
14)The Burrow (i dont like luxury but i dont count Carlisle's library)
15)Magical Powers (i want to sleep sometimes ok?)

harry potter is better,dont compare them or admit hp is better
we all like Edward,as he is likeable,you dont put much effort to love Edward cuz the writer describes him soooooo.....
but in Harry case that is different,i decided that what made us like Twiligth Series was Edward's being great and our interest for vampire thing but after finishing the last book you see that Stephenie could have done this better,she was just not enuf

Berlin Wall :S

Bugün ukla academy de dil sınavı oldum,upper-intermediate ı bitirmişim ama advancedsin de demediler neyim blmiorum yani upper-intermediate ı bitirmiş olmak diye bi level varsa işte oyum:S
grammar,speaking çok ii geçti ama writing de sçtm diyeblirim,nasıl yazıcağımdan ziyade ne yazıcamm diye kafayı yedim, gelmedi aklıma bişe ve sonucta saçma salak şeyler yazdım,sonra kuzenim de orda dil kursuna gdiyo hocasının adı da Steve ve kuzenim benden bahsetmiş ona,görürsen görüş demişti,bende görünce orda direk atlayıp, salak salak konuşamayıp (!) üstelikte türkçe :D kendimi rezil ettim,ama o zaten alışkınmış,öyle dedi kuzenim :D niye böyle oldu bende bilmiyorum :P
bunun dışında da bişe olmadı,burayı günlük olarak tutarsam,günlerim çok sıkıcı olduğundan benm yaşarken sıkıldıım gibi okuyanlar da (eğer varsa) sıkılcak bu yüzden ağırlığı diğer şeylere vericem yazdıklarımda

meselaaaaaaaa hoşlaştığım resimlerden birini koyucam şmd




bu resimdeki kadını kendimle özdeşleştiriyorum,duvar berlin duvarı(almanyada-idi)ve kadın büyük ihtimalle duvarın ayırdığı tutucu kısımda yer alıyo, diğer tarafta ki hayata özeniyo ya da sevgsline,çocuğuna bakıyoda olablilir ama ben düşünmek istediğim gibi düşünüyorum,istediği şey herneyse orayla arasında aşılmaz bir duvar var ve o sadece gizli bi şekilde ufak bi delikten istediği şeye bakarak kendini tatmin etmeye çalışıyo,bende çoğu şeyde bi bakıma bunu yapıyorum,neler de olduğuna girmicem o da çok özel olur :P öyle paylaşmak istedim sadece

6 Dance Lessons in 6 Weeks

i didn't go to school today as i felt really tired when i woke up at 6 in the morning:S ,so i was home all day,studying,eating(:S) etc.



Last night,i went to see a play called "6 haftada 6 dans(Nevra Serezli&Cihan Ünal)" with my mom,it was about soceity's impact on people's lives(thats my interpretation,of course), Lily(Nevra S.) is an old,widow woman,living alone and she decides to take dance lessons(she knows how to dance very well,though),and her teacher (Cihan Ü.) is a middle-aged gay man.They two,lie each other at first,Micheal tells her that he has a wife (just because he thinks Lilly's husband(who is a priest) wouldnt let her take lessons if he knew that Micheal was gay) and lies to Lily,then Lily finds out that he has no wife and then he confesses that he is gay,and then Micheal finds out that Lily has no husband and she lied to him just because she thought if Micheal knew that she has no husband,he would cheat,rape (!) her etc. Then at the end they turn out to be really good friends,knowing the truths about each other



and while all this happens,they do dance,too,at the end they danced to God Only Knows from Beach Boys,which reminded me of 50 First Dates(though Adam sings Wouldn't It Be Nice there,i seem to associate all Beach Boys songs with Adam Sandler after that film hahahah



Cihan Ünal was like a professinal dancer,but Nevra was not that good about dancing,anyway it was nice to watch!



Kokomo

Bloody Sunday

moralimn sıfırın altında olduu iğrenc bi pazar günü
sabah erken kalk,dersaneye/okula git bi daha gitmicem dediin halde yine burger a git(pişman ol)
hadi bu üçü artık "sıradan sıkıcı olaylar" ama canımı en çok netten yaptığım ielts denemesi sıktı
ilk defa yaptım,soruları ilk defa gördüm yani YDS den farklı,daha çok kapsamlı ,ve çok zorlandım yaparım sanıyodum,ama soru tiplerine alışık olmadıımdan zorlandım,şimdi bi de başıma ielts kursuna gitme işi çıktı,ne zaman gidiceğim de belli değil,salı günü deneme olmak için bi hede academy e gdicem rezil olcam gelicem büyük ihtimalle,orda asıl kaç puan yapıorum onu görücem ama kursa ne zaman başlamalıyım bilmiyorum,şuan olmaz asla hemde cnkü dha mö.s.s den falan eksik konular var,mö.s.s yds zırvası bittikten sonra da sadece 22 hazirandan 3 temmuza kadar bi kursa gitme vaktim oluyo bu da yeter mi bilmiyorum,tek deneme şansımı gubidik 3-4 günlk çalışmayla boşa harcamak istemiyorum.
ve tabii bütün gün malak gibi bunları düşünüp, tasarlarken moralimin bozuk olduunu anneme çaktırmamaya çalışma durumum var,-ki bu hafta gitceği geziyi benim yüzümden iptal etmesin hem o gezsin,eğlensin hem ben bikaç gün tek kafa mı dinliim.

Freakk!

Half-Blood Prince i biran önce görmek istememe rağmen,temmuz ayında vizyona gircek olması biraz da işime geldi, mayıs,haziran aylarında olsaydı başıma gelecek olan olayları hemen sıralaya
cevabı olmayan,olan,saçma olan sorular;düşünceler;bitmek bilmeyen hayaller:
1)Fuck this,i'm going to Hogwarts (you can find this group on fb)
2)Neden böyle bi dünya yok?
3)Neden böyle bi dünya'nın yaratılmasında hiç bi katkım yok (film,kitap)?
4)Neden Dumbledore, Fred-George ve Sirius gibi tanıdıklarım yok
<----5)Neden Lilly Snape'i sallamadı, bok mu vardı James te?
6)Helena Bonham Carter a tapmama rağmen,neden Bellatrix karakterine onu oturtamadım?
7)Dumbledore gerçekten çok yetenekli miydi yoksa sadece çok iyi biri miydi?(Asasının marifetlerini öğrendik ne de olsa )
8)Bir gün Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor'ında dondurma yedikten sonra Knockturn Alley'e gidip sinir olduklarım için magical işkence aletleri almışım.....(türevleri..)
9)Leicester Square de ki rezil (6 saat cast ı bekleme,yağmur yağması,tipin kaydıı o sıralar da tv muhabrlerinn gelip eet burda kaç saattir bekliosunuz v.s gibi utanç duymamı sağlayan soruları) ama o rezalete deli gibi değicek(Helena,J.K,... boru mu) saatleri yeniden yaşamaya çalşmak
10)Görüp saldırmiim die gözümün önünden kaldırdığım kitaplarıma aç köpek gibi yeniden gömülmem
11)The complete IDIOT'S guide to the world of Harry Potter ı başucu kitabım yapmam
12)Fanfiction okumaya başlamam,yazmaya yeltenmem (herkesin kitabı birden aşk kitabına çevirmesine gıcık olup ama kendi yazdıımda da Bellatrix'le Voldemort'u kırıştırtmam)
13)Merope nick li ekşi yazarını bulup,saatlerce snape hakkında konuşmak istemem
14))Bişeyi almaya üşendiim zaman "accio hede" diye bağırıp 2-3 sn umutla gelmesini beklemem . . . . .



Bütün bu düşünce/soruları haziran ayında sorcak olsaydım.......
1)Y.D.S,MÖ.S.S,IELTS...love y'all
2)10 yaşından beri aynı soruları sorup,aynı hayalleri kurup bi sonuc alınamamasının vermiş olduğu korkunç sıkıntı
3)Milletin yine mi Gökçe,bırak artık diye söylenmesi
4)10 yaşındaki gıcık kuzenimin abla (nefret ederim abla lafından,çok kıro gelir,deme abla diorm ama demekte ısrar etmesnn nedenini sıftaında verdm zaten sanrm) ben heri poturu çok seviorum sen de di mi,diye sormasını hatırlayıp abartıyo muyum diye düşünüp yine kendimi sıkmam
v.s gibi olayları yaşıcaktım,çoğu zaten yine yaşancak temmuzda da olsa mayısta da,ama MÖ.S.S YDS ve Ieltsten ii puan alma planlarıma iyi bi giricekti.

Rude,Rude,Rude

if you have enough time,info about the thing that is asked,why wouldn't you help someone that needs helpp!!Ive been askin people about "it"(wont reveal it now ) yet they just dont seem to care,fuck off,i'll tell you what you need when you ask me then you'll feel embrassed
that is the technic i mostly use on peoplel ,i try to show people how they look like when they're doing things i dont like (probably,while doing it,they feel so cool etc.)
two weeks ago,we got vaccinated at school (hepatit B),there were two nurses and a doctor (female,probably menopause :D ) dr was there to give us information about that vaccination etc, but she behaved so rude to all of us,though we did nothing to provoke her to do so,or did we?
I asked her if i could ask her sth,she strictly said "no" :S i got shocked,she was there to give us info,not to satisfy her ego.Then i didnt care and kept askin i asked if i could remove the cotton on my arm then she said:did i tell you sth about whether to remove it or not,i was like "errrr" and she kept "then this must mean you dont have to keep it" then i said,shouting,"its okay but you dont have to be this negative towards us"
she didnt say anythin yet she kept givin orders to both nurses and other students
and i went to my place,friends (!) around me ,then i started to give orders to them,copying the way she gives her orders,and exaggerating
you,go and get me a cup of tea
you,go and get my clothes from dry-cleaner :P
etc. then i got her attention and my friends told me later that she stopped givin orders and stared at me while i was copyin her,then she went out,saying nothing(and her work was done)
what i did may sound stupid to you, but believe me,it works,i wont see her again,never, but i wanted to do sth for ppl around her (nurses were secretly grinning as i was doin that,cuz i think that dr is doin what she did to us to them all the time)
she should've known why she was there and how she was supposed to behave to ppl she just met a minute a go.




she looked a little bit like Professor McGonagall,i mean that strict face,she was not this old ,though,actually considering the way she behaved,you can say that she is no more than 6 years old(I like McGonagall btw as she is just a well disciplined witch,not rude!)

wasted years

bu yıl lise sondayım ve biran önce şu okulun bitp gitmesinden başka istediğim bişey yok
4 yıl boyunca hergün lanet ederek gittiğim, 7-8 tane gerizekalıyla dolu(zaten sınıf 11 kişi),ders işlenmeyen(işlenilen zamanlar da hocaların bilgisinden çoğu zaman tatmin olmadığım ),akşama kadar seviyesiz geyikler yapılan bi mekan,hafta da 13 saatlik ingilizce derslerinden 2 tanesi işleniyosa ne ala,yaptığım kendimi ortamdan soyutlama çabalarım (müzik,kitap,test) mp3 player ın her zaman şarjının bitmesi ve hiç kesilmeyen sinir bozucu seslerden teste,kitaba da konsantre olamadığım için başarısızlıkla sonuclanıyr
Bugün 240 dk lık program da toplam işlenilen ders 20 dk,220 dk bomboş ve bu 3 yıldır çoğu zaman böyle, M.E.B a burdan selamlarımı yollar yukardan saç toplasınlar,şunu bunu giymesinler diye bıdı bıdı ötüceklerine önce kendi sorumsuz,tembel eğitim-öğretim görevlilerine (!) bi çekidüzen vermelerini öneririm.

Skins-Series 1-2-Guys

i watched all series of Skins and i want to share my opinion about characters now,im gonna start with guys












Tony:Çemçükk ağızlı,thats how my friend casot calls him hahah.Tony is a hard-working and handsome guy,who (in series 1) doesnt give a damn about his girlfriend, Michelle,and he is nascissit,Though Tony is someone i woudlnt like to have around me that much in real life,in skins,i love this character,its nice to watch him





I like Tony;
When he calls Michelle,nips
When (in series two)he becomes so determined to be normal again


i watched unseen skins on youtube and there was a video called:Tony's Nigthmare (im not sure about the video's name,though) and in that video i like the colour of his eyes very much :S


aaaaand i felt,nonsensically, happy when i learned that Nick (Tony) and Kaya (Effie) were datin in real life.





Sid:In Skins,writers love to make things complicated, Sid loves Michelle(Tony's gf),Michelle loves Tony and Tony loves himself and all girls(including Michelle),Sid is a character who primarily,loves his best mate's gf then loves someone else,Cassie,i think Cassie is much better than Michelle for Sid,as Cass cares more about him and in the end he understands that



I like Sid;


when he finds out who is better for him
when he goes back to help Tony though he doesnt have to
and i felt sorry for Sid when Cassie went to Scotland,as at that time he was beginnin to realize that he loved her
i like sid's glasses and his dirty beret




Anwar:Anwar is a horny,Pakistani guy,he is Maxxie's best mate and a muslim,although formerly he thinks he shouldnt hang out with Maxxie as he is gay,then he doesnt give a fuck about this fact and at the end of the series,he goes to London with Maxxie and Maxxie's new boyfriend
And he likes Sketch,im gonna write things about Sketch later


i like Anwar:


when he jokes around
when he acts so childish but cute when he meets Sketch in a restaurant (unseen skins)
When he decides his friendship with Maxxie is important enough to ignore that he is gay





Maxxie:Maxxie is the gay character of Skins and he is the best mate of Anwar,he is easy-going and he likes tap-dancing,he actually likes all sort of dance.Sketch likes him but he doesnt like her and he finds his boyrfiend in the end.


I like Maxxie:


when he smiles
when he offers Anwar to go to London with him
when he gives a chance to Sketch to see that he really doesnt like girls

Chris:Chris is my favourite character,he could be my best mate or bf hahahh,he doesnt care what ppl say,he (in series 1) loves his psychology teacher Angie.Angie is older than him and the only charachter in skins series whom i dont like.

Chris has lots of problems,with his parents,with Angie then with Jal etc.But he always manages to act like hes havin fun,.Expelled from college he finds a job and starts working there and then he finds out that he likes Jal

and thennnn i want to say this with just one sentece as its really bad
then he dies at the end of the series 2

i like Chris:
when he says "fuck it"
even when he wears all that stupid clothes
when he gives up on Angie
when he finds that little cutie house for him and Jal(nobody likes that home but ican live there with Chris forever)hahahaha
:D

Wrong

human being..youre so evil,thougthless,moody...
should i care about those ill have to leave behind or should i do what they want me to do and be a camel?
i have seen enough to make my desicion,lately ive been thinking that everyone cant be this careless and this ignorant and this wrong,whomever i met i always find sth wrong with them,im trying to be optimistic about this or try not to think about them but how can you do that when you have to be with them all the time. anyway i was saying they all cant be this wrong so there must be sth wrong with me,and i need to do sth about this,i should do what you do and then maybe your mistakes wouldnt seem so wrong,i should be thougthless,calculating,liar,whore,narcissist...all of these would make me someone who can get on well with you,but when i think it over again--,i hate you not only because of the things youve done/do to me but also cuz of the things you do to other people and if i became someone like you,i would lose my respect to myself and i would definetly hate myself,too
i dont know which one is worse,just hating myself or hating you all?it seems like i only have two options so i need to decide on best of the worst




i was born with the wrong sign
in the wrong house with the wrong ascendancy
i took the wrong road
that led to the wrong tendencies
i was in the wrong place at the wrong time
for the wrong reason and the wrong rhyme
on the wrong day of the wrong week
i used the wrong method with the wrong technique

there’s something wrong with me chemically
something wrong with me inherently
the wrong mix in the wrong genes
i reached the wrong ends by the wrong means
it was the wrong plan
in the wrong hands
with the wrong theory for the wrong man
the wrong lies, on the wrong vibes
the wrong questions with the wrong replies
wrong wrong


i was marching to the wrong drum
with the wrong scum pissing out the wrong energy
using all the wrong lines and the wrong signs with the wrong intensity
i was on the wrong page of the wrong book
with the wrong rendition of the wrong hook
made the wrong move, every wrong night
with the wrong tune played till it sounded right yah

seems like it was me who wrote the lyrics
sorry for talkin about these unlovely things in my first blog but today what i wanted to share was this.