waiting in line

I certainly believe that things or people may change just in a minute;

i was gonna go to England and i'm here.The fact that i had been dealing with this for 5 months didn't have any affect on my decision to go to Ank instead.I wanted it badly, but it had to be this way.I denied it for five months, but i couldn't push it more, cuz i was not the only one that was hurt by all of these.

i thought someone was bad, now i don't

i thought i liked someone, now i don't

i thought i found some people with whom i may be able to have good conversations on various subjects, now i don't think i'm feeling that way because of some certain things.

and most surprisingly, although i still feel shit about not being able to study English Literature, i think studying American Culture and literature will not be that bad.

I remember now writing a blog about "saying never again".I think i've had enough to see things this way.I dont even know how i'm gonna feel about a certain thing or a person next week so it would be a useless idea to try to figure out how they'll feel about me.That means, you shouldnt trust anyone, or get used to something or someone because every single thing changes, even you change but at least you can control yourself, your thougths, in the process of changing.

The reason that keeps you alive shouldn't be related to other things or related to someone else, because it is for sure that they will go, there will be a mistake or you will get bored and when you are alone after that, well, let's not think about it.I'm not pessimistic(i am indeed but its got nothing to do with this subject :P),i'm just trying to be realistic and i'm not saying these after waking up from a nightmare, i say these because this is what i experienced