Indeed

Now I'm going to talk about something "sick", it's something i do and i think you'd have to have mental problems to do such a thing.I'm not ashamed of talking about it, because everyone on this earth who knows me, (except for my relatives living in England, which is ironic because you'd expect me to tell them first but nah, i tell you i'm problematic about it, i couldn't talk to them knowing that they fear that i'd expect to be invited etc. althoguh i assure you i'm probably the only people they've met who'd not try to exploit them) also knows about what kind of an anglophilic bitch i am, so it's not something new, just an extra explanation about how sick i am about it.
I couldn't accept for a while that i was in this department and i felt i was not loyal to my major interest, England.It's sick to think it so, when there are English students doing American Studies in England but they've already studied History in college and they've lived in England since they were born, so what they learn is an extra knowledge to them.
When i realized that i was actually liking the department, i found another defense for myself.I've been studying about England as much as i study about America and this way, i maintained a balance and didn't let the first to overcome my knowledge about the latter.For example, we studied the Constitution in America in class and the first thing i did after studying this was to go and make a research on the Constitutional System in England.If i know about the Senate or the House, i thought, i should also know about the House of Lords or of Commons and how it works etc.
This is a nice thing, of course, to learn more but it tears me into a hundred pieces and sometimes prevents me from studying more for my other classes or from reading our materials for the class.It'd be easy if i was just interested in it, but i'm also interested in other things; music, films etc..
And another thing, i guess i wouldn't be this sick about it if i was in another department, because now we studied Odyssey and i don't feel like i should also study Beowulf myself.There is something about America that i hate and find insincere.

More or less, i know what they're all about, how blood/money-suckers they are, but this doesn't show me how bad Americans are, it shows me how bad we, people, are.Because given the oppurtunity and that power, almost every nation and most of the people would do the same things.So, most of them are the symbol of the evil side of human being for me.