Did you say "never"???

I am never gonna say "never" againn (!) I realized that lately i have done loads of things that i described as "would never been done by me".

-I would say ı hate barbeque sauce,i really did.ı couldn't even resist the smell of it.Now its my second favorite sauce in Burger King after Ranch.

-I kept making jokes about people who wear waistcote, said they looked like Serdar Ortaç etc. But then i started to like this as well, cuz it looked much better

on Brian Molko, and on some other guys/girls wearing it.So i guess when these waistcoat's association with Serdar Ortaç in my mind completely got deleted, ı

started to like them.Now i am afraid one day i'm gonna get one for myself and wear it :D

-I used to say,i would never get blonde and now i'm thinking about dying my hair to this colour.But still not the way i joked on before.ı mean

ı dont want a colour like Seda Sayan's or etc. ı want it to look as natural as possible,maybe like Nil's. But this is still risky.I dont want to ruin my hair

cuz it's red :S but it looks like your aunt's hair now

-Ohh, ı dont know how to mention about this one.I ve kept sayin that i would never everr study American Culture at Uni and i really meant it.I made it quite clear that it was impossible

Being an anglophile, this would be the last thing that i'd do but things have changed and now my second and third chocies for uni are American

CUlture, but wait! its not because i adore America or America's culture now.Its bcuz i can only study at my favourite unis by choosin this.And my advisor said as America's culture wouldn'r

cover four years, half of the lessons would be about Shakespear and other British authors.And moreover you dont hate Shakespear when you gradute from this, bcuz

its more superficial here.And maybe i am more flexible as choosin what my so-called course is gonna be about in Turkey, because i probably am not gonna be studying here

This september, hopefuly i'm gonna take a gap year and go to study Media and Communication in England, which i'm pretty excited about.

This is England

bu filmi 2-3 ay önce ilk izlediimde hazırladığım bi blogdu ama nedense postlamamştm şmd yine izlemeye karar verdm ve böyle bişe yazdığımı hatrladım, işte burda :

this is england'ı şimdi bitirdim ve ekşi'de yazar olsam koşup "durduk yerde adamın a.q filmler" e eklerdim bunu.Filmin işlediği faşistlik konusunu, nasıl işlediğini bırak bi kere benim gibi kücük şımarık olmayan erkek cocuğu seven bi tipi normal birini etkiliceinden 100 kat daha etkiledi.Evet ne var? o sevimsiz, şişko, kazma dişli küçük çocuktan bahsediorum, çocuk işte

Green Sreet Hooligans'ı izledikten sonra da böyle olmuştum.İngiliz filmlerinde genelde bi gerçekçilik var, filmi izlerken kandırılıyomuşsunuz gibi hissetmiyosunuz, herşey açık ve samimi şekilde olup bitiyo.kKndini çetenin üyesi, çocuğun bilmem nesi flan gibi hissetme durumları da işte böyle filmlerde oluyo, en azından bana göre

Filmi izlerken beni düşündüren başka şey de, keşke bilgisayar v.s olmasaydı ve herkes gruplar halinde toplanıp yine o şekilde istediği herşeyden bahsedebilseydi, onların arasındaki dostluğu, Lol ve Woody'i falan kıskanmadım desem yalan olur.Ben burda yakın kız arkadaşları görüyorum mesela etrafta ama cok yakın erkek ark pek görmüyorum yani herkes sadece takılıyo işte.Bunlar sanki biribrlerini daha cok seviyolar.This is england'da da, skins'de de bu böyle.Sid'in Tony'e ne kdr kıl olsa da geri dönmesi, Cook'un Freddie ile kavgalıyken fuck, i love you maan diip gidip dudağına yapışması....

Lazyyyy me

hii
ive been busy lately and i couldnt write anything.
I took MÖ.ss by the way.It was not that good :/ i dont know if my score will be enough for İzmir or İstanbul but i hope it would :/
but nothing is clear now, cuz im gonna take YDS on Sunday as well
School and the course ended but i still have more to do, like studying for Ielts and Toefl.I havent started yet.Guess this Öss got lots from me, ive been even lazier :S
and i put on weight as well cuz when home, all i did was to eat!! and thanks to mom, it wasn't so hard for me to keep myself away from foods
As soon as i am finished with this YDS, i'll be on a diet
anddd someone is coming really close to where i live but its not where i live and i hate this.Couldn't you make it to up to north???
I went to Bornova today with my cousin.She bought a dress for her Prom.I liked almost everything i saw but i'm penniless these days so i'm gonna buy them later-not all of them-
Usually when i go shopping i cant find anything to buy, now i found lots of things but i couldnt buy :S shit happens
and i decided to make a list of the films i wanna see, then i'll download them and watch with my friends after mom goes to Ank ;)
what a nice plan for summer holiday right ?

I loved loving

its weird,how i call you my friend,.....but you always listened to me ,asked how i was,always tried to make me feel better when i felt the opposite,when i told you that i felt guilty about something you did your best to convince me that i did nothing wrong by pointing out some facts.Others did some of these as well maybe,but i didn't feel their sincerity,one says i hope all goes well but he just says it,because everyone in that situation would say that,but when you say hope all goes well,i feel you mean it,you really want it to go well for me

now you're telling me something about you,something which is unusual but good as well
and i feel so excited about it, i can't help smiling while thinking of it its really weird for someone who doesnt give a fuck about anyone i, am not very much familliar with feelings like this,and now it sounds weird to me,that i care this much about someone

i want you to be happy very much and never want you to get hurt by anyone,if there's anything i can do,just ask me and i'll be there
and i learned that theres another way to be happy,you can be happy for someone else,their happiness or excitement can be yours.the hardest part is to find someone like this

thanks my good boy :)

for those who don't know me

If you annoy me on purpose ,it's reason must be due to your hatred for me,i mean it better be ,

Dont think i'll be jealous of you or i'll try to gain you back

I simply will take you out of my life, and in this case if theres love in you for me even a little bit, you'll regret what you've done to me more than you think you'd.

What what in the bu** :P

I went to the course today,but didn't attend classes just studied in the library.I had an English class at 2 pm so i had to wait,as waiting i learned that there was an organization for students,i thougth i could spend my time there by 2 pm,got my toast and went to watch the bands they were getting ready then,checking sounds etc.I was alone,none of my friends were there,some of them came and checked what was going on and then they probably didn't like it and left but i didn't mind being alone,had a chance to crticize all the bands(and the English class called off so i had a chance to watch them all)
the first band was a rap band,they SUCKED,i couldn't help laughing when the guy said "çek çek Karacan and Yeah,Yay etc :D you dont care the lesson that rap gives you:P ,when the rapper seems so stupid,i mean they always act like they know all,they rebel against everything etc. but who are you to?they should have decided who was gonna talk to the audience or should have respect each other as talking,they kept interrupting each other,which made me laugh again.
The second band had two bonus guys,its a shame that Gizem was not there and the vocal was female and though her voice was ok,it seemed like the stage was not her place,she seemed like a loser there, she looked like a housewife or what she wore made her look like that. They played 5 songs i guess,her voice was good,she sang from Sertab Erener,Candan Erçetin etc. that was quite boring
and they made a huge mistake by playing or trying to play Don't Speak from No Doubt cuz her accent was disgusting,when she said,wat yor tinking i was like "dont"....cant you see you cant do it,try to make it better or simply dont do it
aandd the last band saved the day, they just played drums,tomtom etc and i really liked it,everyone did,the guy i dont remember his name now kept talking to the audience,called people to stage to dance etc. and little girls liked that :) little girls also liked the guys that were playing,while some of them were screaming "Cankan",one of them came to the stage,saying i want to meet Derya,He came,blushing a little bit- and she said"i think you look like Edward",Edward my lovely Edward belongs to 12-year-old girls now i guess,i dont like it,he was special anyway
After the show,i caught one of the members of the band and asked what the name of the band was,he replied:Working Magic Hands,i checked it now on google but they have no pages or facebook,i guess i'll add one of them to my facebook so that i will know when they play somewhere in İzmir again,anything different is always fine ;)

Caps and Robes

hellö
mom is mad at me though she doesnt say anything,because it was me yesterday who said"i'll be on the course all day tomorrow" and now i'm here,writing when i am supposed to be at the course,studying geography with the teacher whom i asked 3-4 days a go if i could show my wrong answers to her.I couldn't go cuz i couldnt wake up and am really tiredd and am so eager to write about yesterday (graduation ceremony) while the iron is still hot
we(Casot,Müge,Merve,Ezgisu) decided to meet at two pm to go to hairdresser's,it is near merve's home,i was not sure about how i want my hair to look,guessed there ,they'd help me choose or they'd recommend me smth,but they were all dumb they couldn't even do what i wanted let alone recomending something,i didn't like my hair i looked like a villager bride,and when bad make-up added to my face,i thought about Not going there,my friend's sis did our make-ups she was good at it,but it just didnt go with my face,i tried to wipe the pink blusher anyway then when we at last were ready we took a taxi to school,i found my mom sitting on the first line,(here,my friend called i went to course,gonna keep writing now ),as were were the 7th class we had to wait a lot,but i didn't get bored cuz we kept taking photos and talking,and watching what other students did when they were called to the stage.Our class' song was from Hadise, i didn't like it :S 4th class's was Queen,I bet noone even knew Queen there,it wouldnt be a problem for them if they played Hadise when they were called,anyway.The most enjoyable part was wearing robes and caps,gonna add a pic of me here :)Müge and Merve intoduced our class,they called everyone,saying some good things about them,i dont remember mine now exactly,but im gonna write here later after i watch the video again.
i was called and went there and got my diploma,kissing my teacher.When the whole class (11 ppl) got called,we throw our caps in the air and then more picss taken,and we were done.
Then we all (about 8 ppl) went to Merve's to change for Angel,her mom prepared us smthing quickly and we ate them.When we were on the bus-stop waiting for 85,it was already 9:30 pm.When we reached there,i was dissapointed cuz my so-called gay guy was not there :(.I got boooorrredd,everyone was flirting with eachother,nobody was dancing,dj sucked i asked him"could you NOT play turkish music plz" and he said OK but after 4-5 songs ,he played it again i didn't drink much but got a little bit drunk again,mom saw me for the first time like that :F
wish gizem,casot(left after graduation),ekin,mükü.... had come too,
and ı had a dream last night,i was on the plane to London,and the plane kept stopping to get people,and they were all wearing robes and caps,graduated from their unis or high schools but i was not wearing,i searched for it and here:,
Airplane1. Escape from the mundane exigencies of the lower world.
2. Freedom.
3. The search for higher consciousness. Travel into the higher realms.

this would possibly mean i travel to somewhere and that somewhere was clear as i said before:England but i wonder why i was not wearing a cab and a robe,does this mean,yes i'm going to England but not as a studenttt :(:(:(:(:( hope its not that pfff